Bride’s ‘increasing’ demands sparks bridesmaid dilemma about whether she can drop out of the wedding party

One bridesmaid has found herself in a moral dilemma after a “demanding” bride has left her wanting to back out of the wedding just a month out.

The bridesmaid took to Reddit’s Bridezillas forum to air her frustrations about her friend’s upcoming wedding and the bride’s increasing demands.

She explained that she wanted to pull out of the wedding party but felt torn about the decision – especially considering two other bridesmaids had already dropped out.

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The bridesmaid shared that her friend who lives interstate asked her to be a bridesmaid about a year ago.

She added that the pair “aren’t really close” but that felt she “couldn’t say no”. On top of that, she explained that the bride only had “one other bridesmaid” as “two dropped out already”.

“I did want to say no several months ago but the other girls beat me to it so then I felt even more guilted,” she explained.

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As the wedding has loomed closer, the bridesmaid says that the bride “has become increasingly demanding”.

The wedding planning has involved “scheduling zoom calls, sending spreadsheets and schedules where she even schedules bathroom breaks,” the bridesmaid explained.

The bridesmaid is a mother of small children and says it’s “all becoming too much” and knows it will be even more stressful on the day of the wedding.

According to the bridesmaid the wedding day will involve a 6am wake up, “acting as ushers and greeting guests” before staying back to help clean up.

All in all, she says it will account to a 14-hour day.

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“I have a huge work event the following week where I don’t need this stress in my life,” she added.

She also admitted she’s “highly doubtful of this friendship continuing past her wedding, she basically just asked because she needed someone”.

Some Reddit users shared that she would be entirely justified in pulling out of the wedding.

“I’d drop out without a doubt. And you shouldn’t feel guilty – what she’s asking of you guys is ridiculous,” one commenter wrote.

“You’re not a bridesmaid, you’re unpaid event staff,” commented another.

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Meanwhile, other readers urged her to raise her concerns about the “increasing demands” with the bride.

“I would first try to communicate that she’s asking too much of you. Lay out exactly what you are willing to do, and if that isn’t acceptable to her then you will have to bow out,” one replied.

“It might be better to try to have a honest conversation with her and explain you’d love to support her on her big day but that the level of work she’s requiring of you is simply far more than you expected,” added another.

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Others believed while the bridesmaids frustrations were valid, dropping out so close to the wedding isn’t the best move.

“It’s not great that you’ve let almost the whole year go by, but still, this doesn’t sound like being a bridesmaid to me,” one wrote.

“You should have said no immediately. You didn’t. In my mind the only just and right thing to do is see it through,” another commented.

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