Dad’s ‘horror’ exchange with A-lister Taylor Swift haunted him for 13 years

OK, let me set the scene. It’s November 29, 2012. Taylor Swift is 22 years old. 

My daughter Gina is 16. She’s a big fan.

Taylor is already a superstar but not yet a global icon. She’s dating Harry Styles. The Red album was released a month earlier and Taylor has been invited to the ARIAs at Star City in Sydney to perform the single I Knew You Were Trouble.

This is where I enter the story. I am Channel 9’s Executive Producer for the ARIAs. I have an Access All Areas pass and in a moment that will come to haunt me for 13 years, I decide to use this power for personal gain.

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My daughter and her friend Jaimi are in the audience. Just before the show is due to start I hustle them backstage and make a beeline for Taylor Swift.

This is my Super Bowl as a dad. This is the single event that will erase any shortcomings as a father and rocket me into the Parent Hall of Fame.

“Hey, Taylor. Sorry, This is my daughter Gina. Could she just get a quick photo?” 

Taylor, gracious as ever, agrees. Gina and her friend Jaimi take up positions on either side of Tay Tay and then in a moment of slow motion horror Gina hands me her iPhone 4 to take the photo.

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I’ve never held an iPhone let alone taken a photo with one. I’m a Blackberry user. I don’t know where to start. Gina clocks my distress, opens the camera for me and hands it back. Taylor giggles conspiratorially with Gina that her dad is like that too with technology.

Yes, Taylor Swift is gracious but she’s also very busy. She’s about to take the stage for a very choreographed number. I’ve probably got 30 seconds tops to get this done.

Quick sidebar. Here is a direct quote from a 2011 review of the iPhone 4 talking about the features of its latest generation camera:

“….it is a bit slow to focus but it will focus. The tap to focus feature is very useful and works well enough for most people that know how to use their iPhone.”

Of course, I have never read this review. I am not aware of the tap to focus feature and I am definitely not “most people that know how to use their iPhone.”

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I point and shoot and fire off a succession of shots with the belief that quantity will win out over quality.

Taylor hugs the girls, dashes back to her dressing room and I hand Gina back her phone.

I can tell straight away something is wrong. Before I can take a sip from my World’s Best Dad mug Gina turns the screen to show me the result of my work.

Gina and Jaimi are in semi-focus. Taylor Swift who would one day be so successful that she would impact the GDP of the United States is just a blur. She is unrecognisable.

Looks more like an alien than an A-lister. Gina, like Taylor Swift, is gracious and forgiving.

“Don’t worry about it, Dad.” However, I do worry about it. For 13 years.

The next day I am Googling (or was it Ask Jeeves) like a Dad possessed trying to find some software that will de-blur the image. I get a tiny improvement with one tool but you still wouldn’t be able to pick Taylor Swift out of a line-up with Ozzy Osbourne and Luke Combs.

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I finally discover the image doesn’t look quite as bad when you reduce it down. So I make it into a 70mm x 60mm (2.76 x 2.36 inches) print, type a caption on the bottom identifying Taylor Swift and pay to have the image inserted into a Perspex block.

I get three made. One for Gina, one for Jaimi and one for me. I convince myself it’s not too bad after all. It’s a breathtaking act of self-delusion.

My copy sits on the sideboard in the living room, so I see it pretty much every day. As time passes I become more and more disheartened about the whole thing.

Every couple of years I try out new technology to try and upgrade the image but there just aren’t enough pixels to work with. 

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April, 2025. I’m listening to a podcast about AI and all the wonderful things it can do with words and images. IMAGES. My Taylor Swift photo! Maybe AI is the answer.

I ask an AI tool about my dilemma. He/she can’t do it themselves but suggest three AI based photo-correcting software programs that might help.

The first two (free versions) are OK but not great then Bingo! With all hope riding on the third one I hit the CORRECT button and slowly the image comes into focus. Actual focus. I’m not crying, you’re crying. 22-year-old Taylor Swift emerges from her chrysalis state reasonably intact.

I’m happy. Gina, who got over the whole thing in 5 minutes, 13 years ago, is happy – mostly for me I think. 

The picture isn’t perfect but like a metaphor for this whole story, it all turned out perfectly fine.

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