Melinda Gates reveals how a toxic relationship with an ex-boyfriend impacted her body image on The Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast

Melinda Gates has opened up about suffering from body image issues following a toxic relationship with an ex-boyfriend in college.

The billionaire philanthropist detailed her struggle on the latest episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show podcast.

She described the relationship as “really not a positive relationship for me at all” adding that the unnamed ex-boyfriend “cared a lot about how I looked and said a lot of things to me about it”.

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“And that really is not OK. It really is not,” she said.

The now 60-year-old admitted she remained in the relationship for “too long” and, by the time she ended it, had “inculcated too many of those messages.”

“And it wasn’t, probably, until I got to 40 that I got more OK with who I was,” she said.

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Melinda met Microsoft founder Bill Gates in 1987 when she was 28 and the couple would marry and welcome three children, Jennifer, 28, Rory, 25, and Phoebe, 22, before divorcing in 2021.

She said she continued to battle body image issues “through me into my 20s and even into my 30s”.

Over the years she worked with “several different nutritionists” and was able to turn her focus to health.

“I want to be fit ’cause I wanna be able to do all the things I want,” she explained.

“I want to be healthy, but I’m not so focused on, you know, ‘Am I X weight or Y weight?’ or ‘Do I fit in that size pants or another?'” she continued.

She admitted that body image is still in the back of her mind, but “it just isn’t a big call anymore.”

She also said having daughters motivated her to develop a more positive body image.

“I also got to a point where I realised that I was role modeling for my daughters,” she explained.

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“It was really important that I work on this in myself so I didn’t put any of that on them and so when they had body issues, they could come to me and I could be honest with them.”

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She added that she worked with a therapist to help with this as well as deal with her ongoing “anxiety” about her body.

Melinda also focused more of her attention on doing “meaningful work”.

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“Data shows that if women are working and doing meaningful work, they focus less on body image,” she shared, “Which, again, how beautiful is it to be able to put that energy and that time into things that you care about doing for the world?”

Melinda joined the podcast ahead of the release of her new memoir The Next Day.

In the book, she details navigating her divorce with Bill, describing it as the “scariest” thing she has ever had to do.

She then resigned from the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and formed her own organisation called Pivotal Ventures which focuses on “advance social progress and expand women’s power and influence in the U.S. and around the world”.

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