Money Manners: ‘My new partner is making plans following my divorce settlement’

Money Manners is 9honey Money’s weekly column that deals with money etiquette matters that can be the cause of many an awkward encounter.

Submit your Money Manners questions to Jo Abi at jabi@nine.com.au

This week’s question comes via a 9honey reader who has recently endured a painful divorce.

Dilemma: ‘My new partner is making plans following my divorce settlement’

It’s taken me years and years to settle my divorce. The split was painful. We broke up in 2017 and I’m about to get my settlement this year.

So much money was wasted on legal fees, but we had some money and assets to split so while it isn’t a decent sum, it’s just enough to start my life over.

I’ve been in a new relationship since 2023 and he has been super supportive since I met him. We’ve both been looking forward to this chapter of my life being over.

He’s never been married, but has been in some long-term relationships – though nothing like this.

I do really appreciate his support, but he said something the other day that worries me – about how when my divorce settlement comes through we can take a trip together.

I don’t think he meant anything by it, at least I hope not. I don’t have any immediate plans for the money, I think I just need some time to recover and think and plan. I wasn’t thinking of factoring him in. We aren’t even living together yet, but that’s the direction we are headed.

I don’t know if I should bring this up.

Advice: ‘Congratulations, but proceed with caution’

Congratulations on this painful chapter of your life being over. I’ve been through a divorce and so have so many of my friends. It can be horrific.

It is a great idea to give yourself time to recover and to think! It would be easy to frantically start spending, but as you said, you are planning to start your life over.

Your new partner’s comment wasn’t great, but seeing as it was a casual comment you need more to go on before you can understand what his intentions are.

At the very least, you need to have a conversation about it next time the topic of your divorce settlement comes up. Make it clear that you plan to take some time to consider your next steps, with the focus on your next steps.

You don’t seem keen to blow any of your hard-won divorce settlement on a holiday at this stage and that is understandable.

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And, despite the settlement and your partner’s knowledge of it, that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t pay his own way. That is something else that needs to be clear.

So, proceed with caution, because the choices you make will impact your financial future and the future of your relationship. Money can be a tricky conversation, but it’s a necessary one in relationships.

Be brave, be clear and good luck.

The information provided on this website is general in nature only and does not constitute personal financial advice. The information has been prepared without taking into account your personal objectives, financial situation or needs. Before acting on any information on this website you should consider the appropriateness of the information having regard to your objectives, financial situation and needs.

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