Mother’s Day: Let’s stop talking about ‘having it all’ this Mother’s Day, says Sylvia Jeffreys | Opinion

OPINION: Motherhood is a wild ride. It is the greatest blessing of my life, and also the toughest gig I’ve faced.

And as Mother’s Day approaches this Sunday, I’ve been thinking a lot about this promise that we’re constantly sold – that as mums, we can “have it all”. 

You know the narrative: thriving in our careers, raising well-adjusted kids, maintaining a social life, keeping a respectable house, staying fit, and somehow getting enough sleep.

READ MORE: ’About to boil over’: The parenting lesson Sylvia didn’t expect

But honestly – who even decides what “having it all” looks like? What does it actually even mean?

I sat down with CEO of The Parenthood, Georgie Dent, on my latest podcast episode of The Pay Off with Sylvia Jeffreys, to unpack this very idea.

“That question about having it all is often there’s so much unsaid in that expression… It’s a little bit like we don’t think women should have these crazy ideas about being successful in the workplace, successful in business, successful in politics and also have a family,” she said.

“There’s definitely an undercurrent of misogyny there… We’re quite wedded to men as breadwinners and women as caregivers, even though as I come back to the cruel hoax of that is, that’s not the economic reality we live in anymore.”

READ MORE: The trap of ‘having it all’: Why this question sets women up for failure

Being a mum has stretched my heart and my resilience in ways I never imagined. But that doesn’t mean it’s always easy… especially when you throw a career into the mix.

I love my job – I’ve worked hard for it, and I’m proud of what I’ve achieved.

But trying to show up fully at work and at home feels like being pulled in two directions by the strongest forces in your life.

It’s hard to escape the feeling that you’re constantly dropping balls, or at least missing several threads on the preschool WhatsApp group.

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I asked Georgie what the three main skills on a parent’s CV would look like, and I think she got it pretty spot on…

“Prioritisation… I think you do learn really quickly what matters and what doesn’t. I always say to friends or family if they’re having a new baby that in those first six weeks, the only thing that matters is surviving.”

To listen to Episode Ten of The Pay Off with Sylvia Jeffreys, press play below or tap here – Episode Ten | The Real Cost of “Having It All” with Georgie Dent

Georgie continues, “Parenting does require a lot of patience… Resilience. It’s going to be a constant moving beast, you have to let go of control. I mean, maybe it is about adaptability… Maybe that’s the word I’m looking for.” 

Career, kids, the perfect life – everyone has their own idea, and it’s not something that fits into a neat little box. 

So this Mother’s Day, I’m celebrating the messy, beautiful, powerful reality of being a mum and the fact that I have enough of what I need – even if it’s not always perfect.  

The Pay Off with Sylvia Jeffreys is out now and a new episode publishes for free every Thursday. Search “The Pay Off” in your podcast app or tap here.

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