Mum asks if she was wrong to not feed kids at a birthday party after no RSVP from their parents

Planning a kid’s party is not only stressful and time consuming, but it can be expensive too, especially if people don’t rock up. 

But a mum online is wondering if she took things too far, admitting she didn’t feed two kids who arrived to her child’s birthday party because their parents didn’t RSVP in time. 

Sharing her dilemma on the UK-based parenting forum Mumset, she asked if she was in the wrong and if refusing to provide extra food was “unreasonable”. 

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She explained it’s not the first party she’s thrown, but because her daughter was turning eight she knew this may be one of the last like this, so went all out with inviting up to 40 kids. 

She sent out the invites three weeks in advance, asking for a final RSVP a week before the party. 

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“We’d asked for an RSVP ASAP due to food allergies in the family and I was doing individual lunch boxes for each child and would like to make sure they had the perfect party lunch box,” she wrote.

“I also put on the invites that once I got an RSVP I would provide food options for their party food box – this was put on both invites – NO RSVP = NO Food Provided.”

She had chased up the parents that she could and in total 32 kids were expected to come to the party. 

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“I now had 18 from school confirmed + 6 siblings and 8 family [members]. Happy days,” she continued.

“Sunday (the party) I did the 32 Boxes and set up the party, you guest it 2 extra rock up from school. Both Mums didn’t stay, were late, dropped kids at door pointed over and ran. 

“Children weren’t fed. Mums were not happy when children told them when they collected them – 15 mins late may I add.” 

She admitted some parents couldn’t believe she went through with it and had no backup food in case this happened, but she didn’t back down. 

“It wasn’t a buffet it was tailored boxes due to allergies – I am not putting my niece at risk. It also cost me less than a buffet doing the boxes for everyone. Also much less waste,” she finished. 

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While the move had the mums of the hungry kids fuming, most people online agreed she did the right thing – her party, her rules – and hadn’t been unreasonable.

“Warning was given on invites, they turned up so must have read it because they knew when and where to come,” replied one person.

Another commented, “Maybe it’ll make them think twice about being so rude in future. If their children were upset, it’s entirely down to them.”

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But others felt she should have had some spare lunchboxes prepped because the kids were the ones who suffered, and it was hardly their fault.

“I would have still made a few standard boxes up,” one commented.

Someone else echoed that and replied, “I would have done a few extra because you’ve punished the children for their parent’s thoughtlessness.”

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