Real life wedding story: ‘The question I had to ban as soon as I got engaged’

Getting engaged was one of the most exciting moments of my life, and not just because my fiance proposed while we were swimming with sharks.

But the excitement was overshadowed with frustration as soon as we started sharing the happy news with friends and family only to be met with what quickly became my most hated question in the world.

“When are you getting married?”

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Those five little words uttered with the best intentions were like a slap every time I heard them.

Not because they offended or hurt me, but because they left me utterly speechless and more than a little confused.

“What do you mean, when are we getting married?” I wanted to scream.

“We literally got engaged five minutes ago!”

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Within a week, I had to ban the question outright (or just respond to it in the most unserious way possible) in the hopes of retaining enough of my sanity to actually plan and execute a wedding.

While the knee-jerk reaction to finding out someone is engaged is to ask when they plan to tie the knot, that question is a lot more loaded than many Australians realise.

For newly-engaged couples, it can put extra pressure on them to start the overwhelming wedding planning process when they might just want to enjoy the honeymoon period after the proposal.

Easy Weddings reported in 2024 that the average length of engagement for Aussie couples was 22 months, proving most of us don’t want to be rushed.

Moreover, many couples simply can’t afford to get married right away and pushing for a wedding date could add to their financial stress.

Most Australian couples will set their wedding budget at about $27,000 in 2025, according to an Easy Weddings survey.

On average, they’ll go about 29 per cent over budget and end up sinking about $35,000 into their nuptials.

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Paying for a wedding is no small feat in the ongoing cost of living crisis, and the last thing Australian couples need when they’re trying to budget is nosy friends or relatuves pestering them about when they’ll get a save the date.

After all, the biggest mistake some people make when they ask “when are you getting married?” is assuming they’ll be invited in the first place.

So next time you find out someone’s engaged, please ask them literally anything else.

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