Wedding drama: Destination wedding invitation oversight leaves guest feeling ‘awkward and embarrassed’

Being invited to a destination wedding is an exciting prospect, particularly when the location is Hawaii.

But it can be a lot to take on, from booking flights, to accommodation, organising outfits and then of course a gift.

Then you land, and the festivities begin, unless you are this couple who thought they had been included in a line up of special events, only to discover they had missed one, important detail on the wedding invitation.

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“Looking for an outside perspective on the most recent event my husband and I went to,” the woman wrote on Reddit’s ‘Wedding’ thread.

She explained she and her husband were invited to the destination wedding of his friend ‘B’ although weren’t actually invited to the ceremony, or the reception.

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“Husband and B have known each other and been friends for 10+ year, and we’ve subsequently known his now wife for about 5,” she explained. 

They were invited to B’s “destination wedding” to Hawaii and RSVP’d “on time for all the events noted on the website”.

“B even invited husband to fly out 6 days early to Hawaii for the bachelor party, where he was one of 4 guys that joined,” the post continued.

Then during the bachelor party her husband was told they were “invited to all the wedding weekend events, but for the ceremony and reception.”.

“The ceremony and reception were smaller, but they included the majority of guests that travelled in,” she explained in the post.

The groom said that he didn’t expect all of his extended family to make the trip, and the venue had capacity limits so they “sadly could not include everyone”.

“The groom said he thought we were aware because of the ‘personalised agenda’ we had access to via the registration website,” she added.

“Looking back, the ceremony and reception were not noted on the website, but I don’t think we thought much about this because it was so far in advance when we registered, and there was questions answered about the ceremony/reception on the FAQ, and also in the emails and packing lists they sent out to all guests in advance.

“The groom also never mentioned anything/clarified this invite until we arrived.”

She added that while she “completely understand there are budget/capacity restrictions that can limit everyone attending all parts of the wedding” she has been left feeling “really awkward and embarrassed about not knowing this in advance (did we misread the invite or expectations of the groom/bride?), and also just upset”.

“It was a bummer and long trip for us to travel so far and miss a beautiful part of the trip. Has this happened to anyone else?” she asked.

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“That is unbelievably rude,” one Redditer commented.

“I would not be giving a gift either,” another replied.

“We wouldn’t even be friends after this,” added another.

One outraged Redditer commented: “Are you already there? This is honestly appalling behavior. They expect you to spend big bucks on travel and accommodations and they aren’t even hosting you at the reception?

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“Good lorddddd this is so rude I’d actually end a friendship over this and not bother attending ANY of the other events lmao.”

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“So you weren’t actually invited to the wedding at all?? This is so weird!!! (And rude!),” one commented.

“I can’t imagine a world where someone would think this is okay!” added another.

“What the hell else is there besides the ceremony and reception?” one questioned.

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