Woman explains her husband wants to use paternity leave to catch up on golf and me time and she wants advice

Welcoming a new baby into the family is an adjustment, and it’s the same if it’s your first baby or your third. 

From navigating new dynamics with siblings, pets and even your relationship as a couple, it can be a lot to work out – especially when you try to work who is going to take leave when. 

Now, you can be forgiven for being a bit delusional about how life is going to go when you’ve got a newborn, but one man has taken things too far and his wife is furious. 

Sharing their situation on Reddit’s ‘Am I The A–hole‘ thread she revealed that her husband is planning on using his paternity leave to catch up on some me time and play golf. 

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This isn’t their first baby either, it’s their second, so he’s got some experience with the fact that newborns aren’t easy, but he’s not backing down from his plans. 

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“Am I the a–hole for telling him he is being selfish for telling me he is going to be golfing all the time because he needs the paternity leave to give himself a reset?” she asked. 

“We both work full time and have a 4 year old boy. I take work off if he has things, is sick, or the school is closed. I have a limited time of PTO he has unlimited.” 

She explained that she might not go back to work, because they’ve mandated staff return to the office full time, but with kids in daycare full time it would be a lot. 

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“I get one month pay with 12 weeks off and he gets 6 months full paid IF he claims primary parent,” she explained. 

“Our first kid he had sleep apnea undiagnosed and 2 weeks of paternity. We had separate bedrooms for the first 4 months of our boys life till he got a CPAP for snoring. So I did all of the nights by myself.

“He tells me today that he is going to use that time to golf a lot to help give himself a reset.”

She explained that she’s tried to tell him how hard having a newborn is, and this is super selfish, and “being a bad dad.” 

“He said I was being a real a–hole and stormed off because he needs that time to have a change in lifestyle. I’m trying to set an expectation that having a second kid IS the lifestyle change,” she concluded. 

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Turns out she’s definitely not the ‘A–hole’ in the situation and mums, dads and basically every single person who commented was horrified by her husband’s plan. 

One person commented, “F that, there would be no golfing all the time. If taking paternity leave he needs to be helping out not taking me time.” 

“Frankly I’d be going back to work so he can handle the baby for his months of leave. I’d hate to leave the baby – but hate letting him play ‘dad’ when he isn’t one,” added another. 

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One dad replied, “That’s crazy. I used my leave to give my wife as much of a break as I could and did everything but breast feed my son. I just can’t comprehend that level of selfishness.”

Others were a lot more blunt about their view on the situation, telling her that she should be considering divorce right now and there’s no point quitting her job because he’s offering no support. 

“At this point your life would be less stressful if you were a single parent,” one person wrote.

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