Effects of bullying: ‘My confidence went to zero.’ Asha was just 15 when she became the target

Asha had the worst year of her life when, at the age of 15, she started receiving abusive messages from bullies at her all-girls school.

And if that wasn’t enough, her good luck in tennis outside school led to personal taunts.

“Sometimes I would get girls to work just to say nasty things,” Asha told nine.com.au ahead of Do It For Dolly Day, a national day of action against bullying.

”It ​​changed my whole view of my own self-confidence. I didn’t really know what to do or who to talk to.”

The bullying started when she intervened to help someone who was being bullied.

“It just backfired and then they started coming at me. I was just trying to stand up for someone, which doesn’t really happen these days,” she recalls.

‘Most people remain silent and keep to themselves.

“But I saw it happen and I was like, ‘Hey, this isn’t cool. What you do can actually influence someone.’

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“A few weeks later, I started getting a ton of hate mail online from various spam accounts. They were using images and photos of me and saying a lot of hateful things about my appearance.

“My self-confidence dropped to zero. I didn’t really want to talk to anyone. Sometimes going to school was actually quite difficult, because I didn’t know what was going to happen. Will someone come to me?”

The first person she told about it was her mother, and then a teacher with whom she was close.

It was that teacher who referred Asha to the Do It For Dolly Day website.

“There’s actually a similar story to mine that I read on the Do It For Dolly page. I started reading it and thought, ‘Okay, I’m not alone.’

“Unfortunately, other people have gone through this too. But then I thought, ‘It’s okay because I can get the help and support.’

Asha blocked as many accounts as possible that sent the cruel messages and after a year the bullying stopped.

“I was very grateful to have a close and supportive group of friends. They knew I would be off for a few days. I wouldn’t feel comfortable coming out even at lunch. Sometimes I would stay in the bathroom or in class.”

After going through the horrific experience, she decided to try to help others.

By then, she was coaching tennis and came into contact with Learning to Lead, a leadership coaching program, which helped her develop the skills she needed to support others.

“Unfortunately, many young girls give up tennis due to bullying situations on the court,” she continued.

She and Asha launched the Hey Sis Project, a safe space for girls interested in tennis. Asha made it less competitive and made everyone feel comfortable.

Friendships were formed and the girls were able to support each other and in January she received the Young Citizen of the Year award for her advocacy work.

She started raising money for Do It For Dolly Day while she was still at school, in an effort to make an “even bigger difference”.

“I even went to my vice-principal. I sent a big email saying that bullying is common in our school. I have noticed it and I think it is important that we try to be part of this initiative.

“And then we organized a sports session between teachers and students.

‘They even had Dolly’s Dream t-shirts on and everyone else watching, including the staff involved, wore blue. We had a bake sale and a sausage sizzle.

“We had a huge poster for Do It For Dolly Day and information and resources with a QR code.”

It was in 2018 that Dolly Everett committed suicide at the age of 14 after relentless bullying. Her parents Kate and Tick Everett have since dedicated their lives to fighting bullying through their organization Dolly’s Dream.

Today is Do It For Dolly Day, a national day of action when Australians ‘go blue’ in memory of Dolly and to protect others from bullying.

Dolly’s mother Kate told the story Today: “You don’t have to do this alone.”

“We now have school workshops all over Australia focusing on cyber safety, self-esteem and kindness,” she explained.

“We have enabled a 24/7 helpline 13 DOLLY (13 36 55) for anyone who needs support, and this is because sometimes it is very difficult to get support in rural areas.

“And then there’s our Beacon Cyber ​​Safety app, which helps parents navigate technology and introduce it to their children.”

If you or someone you know needs support, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Dolly’s Dream on 13 36 55. There is also a web chat available for children and teenagers via the Dolly’s Dream website.